Dr Balu Pitchiah MBBS, MRCPsych, CCST,MBA (OXON)
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Does Living Together Cause Relationship Problems?

Relationship problems can happen for all kinds of reasons, but many of the most common arguments that couples have stem from the everyday difficulties of living together. Sharing a home for the first time can reveal a whole new side of your partner, which might include some less welcome habits. Living together for a long time can also put a strain on your relationship, particularly if you have different ideas about how your home should be.

Common Relationship Problems When You Live Together

  • Different attitudes to mess: living with someone neater or messier than you can be very irritating Not sharing the housework feeling that you do more than your fair share or that your contributions are not appreciated can wear you down over time
  • Not having enough space: spending time alone can be important, for some more than others, so it’s important to make sure you give each other physical and emotional space when necessary
  • Lack of boundaries: if you’re unhappy with your partner looking through your personal drawers or answering your phone, it’s important to tell them where your boundaries are
  • Irritating habits: everyone has their own way of doing things, but you should be honest if you find something annoying and change your own habits if they annoy your partner
  • Lack of consideration: skipping simple things like letting your partner know if you’ll be home late can make it seem as if you don’t care
  • Disagreements about where to live: having different ideas about where you will live and what kind of home you should be making together could be signs of differences in how you see your relationship progressing, so it’s very important to talk about them

Although these issues can build up into major arguments, the solution to most of these relationship problems is simply to talk about it and come up with a compromise. Decide on a solution together and do your best to stick to it, but be forgiving if you slip up occasionally.